Jesus, He Is There

Tears streamed down my face as I read this latest update on Phoebe. I hope Amey doesn't mind that I copied and pasted the whole post to share with you. I just don't have the heart to step into this time with Phoebe to ask if I could share, I am sure she would say yes.

Phoebe, An ATypical Miracle

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My little “bright, illuminated light” grows dim. It is almost imperceptible and then suddenly I realize that she is different. She doesn’t eat anymore, a bite of ice cream and then it melts in the bowl, or she carries a popsicle around until she decides against eating it. Suddenly- no need to stock her beloved pistachios- “stachios”, her tortilla chips or Cheerios. And she stares..off into a faraway place at times and I can’t call her back with my voice. Only my touch brings her back to me. Could be small seizures says Jan, our hospice nurse, but maybe not. She has a more difficult time completing sentences and loses her train of thought. And today:
Phoebe: “Mommy, know who slept with me last night?”
Me: “Yes, Grammy slept with you last night.”
Phoebe: “No, Jesus slept with me last night.”
Me: “Jesus slept with you?”
Phoebe: “Yes, God.”
She makes comments like this more and more and I wonder how thin the veil is becoming.
You know, when a light flickers just before it goes out? This is that. She has these moments of breakthrough clarity and tells me amazing things. And then she grows dim again. She speaks less, shuffles. She fell yesterday. And somehow I can get up and brush my teeth. Sufficient grace. Calm before the storm. I try to brace myself for what’s coming, ready myself for impact.
I have scrubbed this house from floor to ceiling, and there are 5 new bulging trash bags worth of stuff at Goodwill. I am nesting in reverse. Planning for the days I can’t get out of bed and face the world, when the sun is too bright and the birdsong outside my window doesn’t match the ache I feel inside. I am not unaware that those days wait for me. I have been there before, but this will far surpass those depths.
Jesus is in the depths. I know He is. I will find Him there, partake in His sufferings. There will be new insight. Hard earned.
I find myself needing to protect the time we have with her. The time for sharing is ending and the time for staying close is here. My mother love will orbit her, do what more I can do for her. I imagine it will be like in those first days, in our bedroom in Mexico, when the night breeze blew the leaves of the Jacaranda tree on our patio and in through our window where I nursed at 2 am and 4 am. By moonlight I stroked her head and marveled that at last I had a daughter.
In my mind I imagine a peaceful transition. I know it often isn’t so. Please pray for peace for Phoebe. God is already so obviously present with her and that comforts me to no end.
`Amey

Psalm 23:4 ESV
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Nothing is impossible for our God. 

If a healthy Phoebe here on earth is in accordance with Father's will then this will be so because through Him all things are possible. Please continue to ask Father to heal Phoebe.

Matthew 19:26 ESV

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Luke 1:37 ESV 

"For nothing will be impossible with God.”

Mark 9:23 ESV

And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”

Mark 10:27 ESV 

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”

Believe that Father will answer our prayers and please pray for peace and comfort for the family.

Praying and praying,
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God Made the Heavens

Matthew 19:26 NIV

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Today is cloudy and rainy so I decided to head out the door for a mountain hike, which I could not convince my son to join me on, even the thought of searching for different animal tracks could not peak his interest this wet, rainy day. 

I was met with a wonderful eye full! This first picture is the look out from 3/4 up the mountain on a pretty clear day about 5 days ago. I am showing you this one just so you can have an idea of the depth of the next pictures.

 The pic below is from a similar view just a bit further back and a bit of a different angle. I want to show you the amazing clouds and how they make the whole valley disappear.

Do you remember Lon? He has disappeared from the blog world again and this time I lost contact with him via email. A while ago, I promised him the next time the valley was socked in with clouds I would hike up the mountain and snap some pictures for him. Well, these pics are not that stunning because the sunshine at the top was missing, but none the less, these are beautiful and I wanted to share them with all of you. 

I am hoping that Lon will stop by and see these pics and know that today, as in many times, I was thinking of him and praying for him. This walk was taken with Lon in mind and I hope he sees these pictures. 

Jeremiah 10:12-13 NIV

But God made the earth by his power;

    he founded the world by his wisdom

    and stretched out the heavens by his understanding.

When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar;

    he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth.

He sends lightning with the rain

    and brings out the wind from his storehouses.

Blessings,

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