A Puddle of Tears

Philippians 4:13 ESV

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

I tell you, when you ask Father to give you a push He surly does!

Thank you to those of you who are praying for me in this area of obedience. I truly feel your prayers! Let me explain a bit.

Since I have been asked to run this House of Prayer and our churches prayer chain Father has really laid a load on me, something I am not use to at all. I love to pray and am very honoured to pray for anyone anytime and all of the time. What I am not comfortable with is a large group of people interactions. I am an one on one person and even then that can be really stretching me. I get emotionally and spiritually exhausted and need time alone in order to recuperate. If I can pull away from the group and just hover on the outside I usually do well but if I am the center of attention I get totally woozy and icky feeling. This was definitely a woozy and icky feeling! 

This past Friday I held a meeting for those on the prayer chain and from those who were there, they said I did a good job and we were able to get a bit of organization done. What I didn’t expect was the spiritual attack on me. After everyone left I felt so very drained. I turned up the worship music and fell in a heap on the floor and just wept. I needed to be in my Father’s presence and I needed Him to love me and fill me up. Soon, my husband came into where I was, rubbed my back gave me a gentle kiss on the head and prayed for me.

I am being stretched and it hurts!

I am so thankful for your prayers; if I wasn’t covered I would never have been able to hold that meeting. My insides were full of springs and my stomach was in a tumble yet when I prayed and spoke the words came out clearly and coherently. Even now, as I type, I am just weeping at the faithfulness of Father. Never in my wildest dreams did I believe I could do what I just did. I do admit, though, I needed the whole weekend to gain back strength and even yesterday after church when we meet with the youth and young adults, I had to sneak away to a spot by myself and just soak in Father’s presence.

Obedience is hard yet when we take that step of faith He is there to meet us.

I encourage you to take that step of obedience, whatever that may be, and trust Father will meet you and uphold you. 

He is Faithful!

Revelation 2:10 ESV

Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.

Blessings,

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Hitting The Wall

James 1:12 ESV

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

It occurred to me this morning while running on the treadmill that hitting the physical wall in training can be compared to hitting the spiritual wall in following Jesus.  

The natural reflects the supernatural.

While my heart rate was rising and the sweat was pouring down my face, my legs started to scream, “Slow down!” I was coming to the wall of my endurance and the temptation of slowing down my run won. 

Yesterday I failed.

Once more Father led me into temptation and instead of obeying Him I slipped into my fleshy way and failed the test. Guilt overpowered me and oppression set in. I hit the spiritual wall of endurance. I didn’t realize that yesterday but today, while running, I saw and understood.

As we physically train our bodies for endurance we do so slowly and steadily increase our distance and speed, in the case of running, biking or walking, or weights and repetition, in the case of weight lifting. Sooner or later we will hit the wall, where we cannot go past it. No matter how hard we try it seems we cannot go any faster, longer or lift anymore.

What Father showed me was this spiritual walk of ours is like endurance training and sooner or later we will hit the spiritual wall. In my case it was obedience. I learned the more I obey Him the better I will be at it and when the testing comes I will pass.

When training to increase say speed, you do it slowly adding in speed drills to increase endurance. As you continue to train eventually your body and mind become conditioned and soon that wall you were hitting before comes crashing down and you find you are steadily increasing in speed and endurance until you hit the next wall.

I see that I was wrong in being frustrated with myself for failing and I now see that these tests are Father increasing my endurance. Focusing on Scripture, praying and obeying Him are the training tools I need to run past the wall in my spiritual walk.

As I was running and coming up to my physical wall it all came together and I saw the training process.

Romans 5:3-4 ESV

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.

Yesterday’s trial was very painful and I hit the wall and couldn’t do it anymore, yet I picked myself up, repented of my sin and continue to obey Father knowing that the more I practice this obedience the sooner this wall will come down and I will move ahead full tilt until I hit the next spiritual wall.

Blessings,

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Linking up with Barbie for The Weekend Brew